fav new SNL cast member <3333
Here’s a compilation of video clips I took during my year in Egypt. Enjoy.
Music: Desert Song by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Locations: Aswan, Cairo, Luxor, Sharm el Sheikh and various locations on the Nile.
I wish he would grind on me like that.
"What is a subway sleeping bag?"
"It’s that thing of when you’re on the train and you side between two guys in FUBU jackets."
Photo by adamantlaw, who correctly assumed that I’d like this cheery green dude. Oakland, 9/14/2014 (roughly).
Tonight I’m thinking about the bullshit. I’m thinking about the excuses and the cogent, sexy manipulation. I’m thinking about the equivocal way everyone seems to talk these days. I’m thinking about entitlement. I’m thinking about trends and self-centered banter and the way girls seem to prattle about the dumbest shit anymore. Just days ago I was in a happy place. I was away from the dump that is my home town, overflowing with people who have nothing to do but attend Zumba classes and peruse through your private matters. I was eating crispy chicken sandwiches on a sidewalk in Oakland with a dear friend, admiring babies and how fucking nice it must be to be pushed around in a stroller all day in the iridescent sunshine. We were laughing, living, giving no shits except in regard to our next adventures. I was consistently amazed with how alive people seemed to be, how interested they were in other people, how the sky seemed to gush over the tops of buildings and into the streets. Alas, this couldn’t be reality for me much longer. I am home now, attempting to hide a sore, impulsive septum piercing from my father which he unknowingly pinched in good humor with the strength of one thousand vikings after we ate a fulfilling dinner of Shells & Cheese (green beans on the side). I’m tucked away in my childhood bed wearing strange neon green spandex shorts and searching the net for any glimmer of inspiration. I am unable to sleep, turning over in my mind all the worthless douchelords that have strung me along and worn me impossibly thin. I am thinking in specific of one particular douchefuck who made clear my withering position on his super duper important list of priorities and his claim that he “need not prove himself to anyone for any reason”. Except no, you relentlessly self absorbed child, this isn’t how life plays out. We don’t just walk into Donald Trump’s office on a Monday afternoon, shake our tits around and say, “Hey, nice wig, dickleak! I’m reliable and hard working. Hire me and pay me millions”. And in the bat of an eye and an ever so discreet adjustment of his shitty hair, Donald surely proclaims, “YOU’RE RIGHT, THANK YOU WONDERFUL PERSON, LET’S START NEXT MONDAY”. Goddammit why are people so entitled? Maybe if you’re fucking Beyonce or Janet Reno you don’t have much to prove at this point. But as a blooming twentysomething fuckstar, YES, you indeed DO have something to prove if you intend on leaving your job passing out endless breadsticks at Fazolis for something slightly less insipid. And if you aren’t “downsies” with that, you might as well start looking for a well insulated refrigerator box and make yourself comfortable. Goddam brats these days.
Overwise, though, I’m having a rather enjoyable evening.
"I have no idea how people function without near-constant internal chaos."
Dave Eggers from A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (via whereislittlemaggie)